Being with them? I don’t think that’s what I want. He just… he always tries to convince me that I shouldn’t give up and… when I tell him he will find someone else who takes my place then he says that’s not possible. AndthenhekissedmeandnowIamjustconfusedabouteverything!
If you don’t think that’s what you want, then tell him. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. That’s not giving up— That’s doing what makes you comfortable.
We are not together!
You’re not? Then, wait, okay, I’m really confused now.
Are you afraid of being with him because you’re afraid you’ll make the same mistakes again? Is that what this is?
Yes, I do. I am glad we agree, that makes things easier. What do you mean?
That you and Chance are together and whatnot?
I didn’t care about that stupid game… I didn’t care about anything which was the reason why I agreed. I think I was pretty numb back then… I don’t like to use the word friends, but I like you and… you saved me. By “he” I mean Chance…
I don’t like the word much either, but you get what I mean. Chance? …Ohhhh. Wait, so you and— that’s what that little shit has been up to?
Yes we have spaghetti.
Get the fuck off me you fucking—what the fuck is your fucking problem, get off me.
[punches him back as well as he can]
My problem? When I tell you to leave me alone, you leave me the fuck alone.
[Releases his grip on Holden’s collar, dropping him to the ground]
All of that was my fault and mine only. He might be an idiot, but I let him in my life. Everyone who is close to me gets hurt or hurts me. They leave me, just disappear out of my life. If I… if I try to get better and he disappears too? Or realizes I am not as good as he thinks? I can’t go through all of this once more…
You’re going to have to be a bit more specific with the “he”s, Liv. It’s hard for me to keep up with who you’re referring to. We’re close, right? Not in a romantic way, but a friendly way, I think… You wouldn’t be telling me all this if we weren’t, but that’s besides the point. You haven’t hurt me, not yet— and I’m pretty sure I haven’t hurt you, unless you count the stupid game I made out of you when you first arrived to the last home.
Sounds reasonable to me.
You mean now? How can they fuck with you now?
[Thinks for a moment before shaking his head] It’s not worth mentioning now.
About everything… After Daniel started to… after what happened and I realized what a big mistake I made by choosing him and losing everyone else I didn’t want to live anymore… There was nothing to live for. When they brought me to the old asylum I never believed I would find people… who I trust. I didn’t even believe I would be able to smile. But if I would give in and give him what he wants and try it again, instead of giving up everything, then wouldn’t I make the same mistake than I already did once? But if I continue the same way as until now, then I’ll hurt him… I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore…
None of that was your fault, Olivia, you know that right? You couldn’t help what happened… and I don’t know about everyone, but I’m almost positive you haven’t hurt anyone here. I mean, except Ethan, but he’s an idiot sometimes— he practically asks for it.